By Matt Baumgartner
I went to light a fire in my wood-burning-stove the other night and I found two birds, dead, in the body of my stove.
Like dolphins and gin drinkers, I am pretty sure birds mate for life.
I wonder if this was some sort of lover’s suicide. I mean, why else would the two birds have flown down the chimney at the same time, and cuddle up next to each other like that.  Maybe they, too, are worried about Sneaky Pete’s coming into their neighborhood.
Or maybe they saw the huge sign on the front of Stout’s building at Oktoberfest that read “WE HAVE LIQUOR†and they got drunk on Grey Goose or Wild Turkey and FWI’d into my chimney.
Or maybe the love birds are both male and they flew, light on their feathers, to my house from one of the less tolerant red states and then killed themselves Romeo and Juliet Romeo style. Don’t they know it gets better?
Who knows.  But I’d like to take a moment of silence to honor the lives of these two love birds. We will miss you down here in the W.D.
By Friday Puppy
Now that you have one of the most famous and authentic English Pubs (outside of England) in your great city I thought I would give you a little history lesson about where some of the more unusual English sayings come from.
When you are sat having a packet of chicken flavoured Walkers Crisps and a nice pint of ale why don’t you try these out on someone and see whether they understand what the hell you are saying. Saying it in an English accent would be even better!
 One for the Road:
 There is an old pub in London which used to have gallows adjacent to it where prisoners were taken to be hanged. The horse-drawn dray, which carted the prisoner to their death was accompanied by an armed guard, who would stop the dray outside the pub and ask the prisoner if he would like “one last drinkâ€. If he said yes, it was referred to as One for the Road. If he declined, that prisoner was said to be On the Wagon.
Someone who has stopped drinking and then becomes a pisshead again is referred to, even today, as someone who has fallen off the wagon.
 Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water:
In the 1500’s baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of nice clean water, then all the other sons and men washed, then the women had their turn and finally the children, last of all was the babies. By then the water was so dirty that you could lose someone in it, and sometimes the babies drowned. This is where the saying Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water comes from.
Interestingly enough, most people got married in June, because they took their yearly bath in May and they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell, brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odour. This is where today’s custom of carrying a bouquet when getting married came from.
It’s raining cats and dogs:
In the same time period houses had thatched roofs, thick straw piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying Its raining cats and dogs.
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom, where bugs and other dropping would mess the bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That is how canopy and four poster beds came into existence.
 Saved By The Bell / Dead Ringer:
England is incredibly old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people, so they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realised they have been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, thread it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell.
Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift) to listen for the bell; thus someone could be saved by the bell or was considered to be a deadringer.
Doesn’t have a pot to piss in:
In olden England they used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot and then once a day it was taken and sold to the tannery. If you had to do this to survive you were considered “Piss Poor” (still used today to refer to poor people). However worse than that were the really poor folk, who couldn’t even afford to buy a pot, they “didn’t have a pot to piss in” and also used today to describe someone with absolutely no money.
By Friday Puppy
The movie Rushmore is one of my favorites of all time. In it, Max Fischer, a student at a fictional private school, struggles to make it work both academically and romantically while simultaneously establishing an amazing array of clubs for his fellow students to enjoy. This movie also includes my favorite dinner scene of all time…by a long shot.
In the spirit of Max I started a student club at the school where I work called foodgroop. FoodGroop is a club where middle school students have an opportunity to learn, taste, and share experiences that are food related.  It’s not a cooking club (although periodic tastings are planned), but rather a place for students to learn about culinary traditions and experience them first hand. By learning and writing about the food of our culture and the cultures of others, the kids will have a greater understanding of why we eat what we eat. The students will be encouraged to write and blog about their love of food…whether it’s meals that they have had or plan on having in the future. There will also be guest cooks that will demonstrate different dishes to hopefully encourage kids to follow their own culinary inspirations. (more…)
By Matt Baumgartner
Thank you to the food blog, Cooking Three Times, for the great review of The Olde English. Â (And yes, you can call me Matty B. Â Quite a few people do. Â And to commenter Deanna (Silly Goose Farm), you can also call me “The Baumer”… which was my nickname all through Junior High and High School… hence the name “Bomber’s”)
I hadn’t stumbled upon this blog before, and I’m sure glad I have. Â I LOVE the way it looks, and I really enjoy Braden’s writing. Â It will definitely be something I read on a regular basis.
Check it out.
