I just found out that I have to take a trip to Japan in August.
Japan, the country.
Japan, the 14 hour flight away from home, Japan.
Japan, the the country where Howes & Baum has a PR agent and a showroom who are asking that we come to Tokyo to do a week of press.
Doesn’t that sound amazing?
Yeah, I don’t think so either. It sounds like someone has said to me, “Hey Matt, we need you to go to Neptune for 8 days in August.”
For some reason, the thought of 14 hours on a plain is more than I can handle.
And then what happens when I get to Japan and I have my first of 8 panic attacks and I can’t get on the flight to fly back home? Or I can’t leave the hotel and all I can do is mainline camomile tea and watch old episodes of Just Shoot Me!
I will then have to take a boat all the way back to California, and then take a Greyhound to New York. I’ll do it I swear I will.
What if I show up there and I’m so nervous that the only thing that will calm me down is vodka? What happens then? What happens when my PR agent says to his coworkers, “Oh no. Matt from Howes & Baum is drinking vodka again at breakfast.” and then they say, “this isn’t working out for us.”
and then I cry and then they beat me up because men don’t cry in Japan.
What have I gotten myself into.