So I waited in line last week at the SOHO Apple Store with about 5 billion asian men and women (I’m not sure why it was so Asian heavy, maybe because I was near Chinatown), and I bought a new, black iPhone 5.
It feels lighter and thinner and that’s about it.
The 3D maps are cool, but I had that already with the new upgrade.
The commercials say it’s faster, but it doesn’t really feel that much faster to me.
The screen is bigger, and that’s nice, but if I’m supposed to do a #3 in my pants just because there’s now a 5th row (!!!) of apps on my screen, it’s just not gonna happen. I never watch movies on my iPhone because… well, I’m not a crazy person.
The main reason why I hate this new iPhone is the following….
1. It doesn’t work with the bluetooth in my car. I tried, but for some reason it’s not syncing. This is a big deal to me because, I need to communicate to people all day long. At one point, I said, “Siri, please help me.” and she said, “what would you like help with”, and then I tried to explain it to her, and said, “would you like me to check the web?” and then I told her to lose my number.
2. The charger that comes with my car doens’t fit in the new iPhone because they fucking changed it to that stupid little thing. They tell me I’m supposed to be excited about the fact that the cord can now be plugged into the phone right side up OR upside down. Big whoop.
3. I left my phone plug in Albany, and now I’m in NYC, and I have no where to plug my phone in. None of the 80 white chargers I have fit into my new stupid iPhone, and I just tried going to 2 Apple Stores to buy new plugs, and they are all sold out. So now my phone is dead, and I won’t be able to charge it until Friday night. I am seriously considering being the douche bag who carries around his iPad just for tonight so that I can respond to emails and texts that are coming in re: the restaurant opening next week.
4. Hmmmm, what else do I hate about it. I guess I hate that they are sold out of everything. But at the same time, news reports are claiming that sales aren’t what they expected. But you can’t buy one, so how do they expect sales to be higher if there are none to buy? And if there are more, where are they? Did they misread the market and sent 5 billion phones to Atlantis?
I normally really enjoy the Apple experience, but this is really frustrating. If anyone wants to get a hold of me tonight, I’ll be in 1990.