I have written on this blog about Gwyneth Paltrow, so it should come as no surprise to you, dear readers, that I am not afraid to address controversial topics in my writing. And as we in that time of year wear the weather teases us like a schoolyard bully, I have to ask you to join me in a great debate. Ladies and Gentlemen, we need to talk about summer scarves.
I admit it: I love a summer scarf. I own them in bulk. I have one that was gifted to me by a very sexy Canadian from Hermes that is worth more than my car. (Seriously, my car is a piece of shit.) I just bought 2 more and thereâ€™s one in my online shopping bag at Mr. Porter (PS, my birthday is in a few weeks, itâ€™s the red bandana print scarf by Hartford, you guys can get it for me and just ship it to Bombers). I understand, the very idea of a summer scarf flies in the face of all that a scarf is supposed to be. Itâ€™s a sartorial oxymoron. Who needs a scarf in the summer?
Fat kids, thatâ€™s who.
I learned that one day when I was shopping with my mom at Ralph Lauren and I kept picking up scarves and ties.Â In her own awesome way of telling me I had put on weight (as if I didnâ€™t know) she mentioned how I was only picking up scarves and ties. â€œWhy is that Eric?â€, she intoned, â€œBecause you donâ€™t have to go in the fitting room and try them on?â€Â Foiled again.
But she had a point, scarves always fit. Plus, in all honesty, I just like them. For a big boy, I am always effing cold, and I swear, the one time I went out between October 1st and April 30th without a scarf on I got strep throat. Also, as you get older, sometimes you have a â€œthingâ€. Something you wear thatâ€™s sort of your signature.Â Like how Joan Rivers wears a mask and Chris Brown wears a wife beater. I like scarves, theyâ€™re my thing.
But the debate continues, there are people that dread the thought of them, hate the way they look and canâ€™t tolerate them. I draw the line at wearing one if I have shorts on, but I do know a girl that wears 2 scarves at once and I think thatâ€™s kind of awesome.Â And Iâ€™m probably kind of a hypocrite, because one time I had a very negative visceral reaction to some douche who was wearing a knit wool had and skinny cord jeans on a super hot day in July. (When did the L train start making stops in Albany? Seriously, leave it in Brooklyn.)
But what about you guys, do you summer scarf? Or do you secretly want to turn them all into a noose and hang the pretentious jagweeds wearing them? Weigh in with a comment, or tweet me @mrerichenderson with your favorite summer scarf story. Or just skip ahead to the pictures of the dog.