Summer scarves.

By Friday Puppy

I have written on this blog about Gwyneth Paltrow, so it should come as no surprise to you, dear readers, that I am not afraid to address controversial topics in my writing. And as we in that time of year wear the weather teases us like a schoolyard bully, I have to ask you to join me in a great debate. Ladies and Gentlemen, we need to talk about summer scarves.

I admit it: I love a summer scarf. I own them in bulk. I have one that was gifted to me by a very sexy Canadian from Hermes that is worth more than my car. (Seriously, my car is a piece of shit.) I just bought 2 more and there’s one in my online shopping bag at Mr. Porter (PS, my birthday is in a few weeks, it’s the red bandana print scarf by Hartford, you guys can get it for me and just ship it to Bombers). I understand, the very idea of a summer scarf flies in the face of all that a scarf is supposed to be. It’s a sartorial oxymoron. Who needs a scarf in the summer?

Fat kids, that’s who.

I learned that one day when I was shopping with my mom at Ralph Lauren and I kept picking up scarves and ties.  In her own awesome way of telling me I had put on weight (as if I didn’t know) she mentioned how I was only picking up scarves and ties. “Why is that Eric?”, she intoned, “Because you don’t have to go in the fitting room and try them on?”  Foiled again.

But she had a point, scarves always fit. Plus, in all honesty, I just like them. For a big boy, I am always effing cold, and I swear, the one time I went out between October 1^st and April 30^th without a scarf on I got strep throat. Also, as you get older, sometimes you have a “thing”. Something you wear that’s sort of your signature.  Like how Joan Rivers wears a mask and Chris Brown wears a wife beater. I like scarves, they’re my thing.

But the debate continues, there are people that dread the thought of them, hate the way they look and can’t tolerate them. I draw the line at wearing one if I have shorts on, but I do know a girl that wears 2 scarves at once and I think that’s kind of awesome.  And I’m probably kind of a hypocrite, because one time I had a very negative visceral reaction to some douche who was wearing a knit wool had and skinny cord jeans on a super hot day in July. (When did the L train start making stops in Albany? Seriously, leave it in Brooklyn.)

But what about you guys, do you summer scarf? Or do you secretly want to turn them all into a noose and hang the pretentious jagweeds wearing them? Weigh in with a comment, or tweet me @mrerichenderson with your favorite summer scarf story. Or just skip ahead to the pictures of the dog.

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