So one of my favorite things to do when I contribute to this blog is field questions from dear readers like you. Contrary to what you might think, I enjoy when my advice is solicited almost as much as it is not. That being said, I am going to offer up some words of wisdom on some timely topics submitted by my fan. And away we go:
Can I wear a romper as a bathing suit cover up?
I think itâ€™s pretty safe to assume that if youâ€™re reading this blog, and you know there is such a thing as a â€œbathing suit cover upâ€ that youâ€™re not in preschool. Ladies, say the word with me: â€œRomperâ€. Romper. Think about it, youâ€™re a sophisticated, commandingÂ lady. Youâ€™re a girl (who runs the world). You went to college and you drink wine in glasses. And now you want to shop for a onesie? Doesnâ€™t seem to make sense. Rompers? More like Wrongpers. And youâ€™re already in a bathing suit? Did you really want to make going to the bathroom that much more difficult? Though, I am sure the cut of that romper would most likely hide a diaper anyway (paging Lisa Rinna). My advice? If you need a bathing suit cover up, grab a great pair of cutoffs and your dadâ€™s/brothers/gay best friendâ€™s favorite old buttonup shirt and the best sunglasses you can afford. Donezo.
Can I wear white shorts?
Simple pimple, yes you can. Just make sure they are good, clean white shorts, and done in a fabric that conceals the pockets, isnâ€™t sheer, and are long enough so that you donâ€™t look like youâ€™re wearing old man underwear. Basically, youâ€™re looking at a white chino short, and Â there are tons out there at every price point. One warning? Make sure your legs are tan. Real, fake, sprayed on, or grab a beige Sharpie and start drawing. And best bet is to wear black or navy on top. Pink shirt andÂ white shorts? Youâ€™ll be the best dressed day camp counselor out there.
CanÂ a regular gal doing regular things wear high heels with shorts?
Yes, if by regular gal doing regular things you mean Cameron Diaz running to Ralphâ€™s to buy some kale and a six pack of Corona Light. Or if by regular things you mean that your life is one long movie montage of slutty car washes in the 80s. And PS, thereâ€™s no such thing as evening shorts, or office shorts. So stop it. There is however an argument to be made for a well made high wedge espadrille if the situation warrants more than a flat or a pair of sneakers.
White shoes? Okay? Okay before Labor Day? Not okay at all?
White shoes are fine, but again, like white shorts, you have to buy quality. Cheap white shoes look like, well, cheap white shoes. If they are not real leather, they will crack and the paint will chip, or the rubber will get marks, or whatever they are made of will rot your feet from the inside out. But consider the nude patent heel, its looks better and makes your legs look a lot longer and is way more versatile. And this goes for guys and girls, nothing looks better in the summer than classic white suede bucs with a red crepe sole. The more scuffed the better. I have a pair that are about 6 years old and they are just getting good.
Do you have a question you need answered with glaring uncensored honesty? And I am not just talking about white shorts here. (PS, talking about white shorts always reminds me of some magazine that my girl friends read in middle school, and people wrote in with their humiliating stories and it always ended with some tween getting her period in white shorts in front of some guy she had a crush on. What magazine was that? Jesus, teenage girls are cruel.)…