Despite the fact I am often quite vocal about many things and tend to voice my opinion without anyone asking for it, caring much about it, and tending not to want to hear it, this subject today is something I am a little nervous to discuss – but I feel I need to get it off my chest.
Before I do, I would advise my Mum and Aunty Maggie to stop reading now – (I welcome Aunty Maggie as a Friday Puppy reader after her confession this weekend that when she is bored at home she logs on to see what is going on).
Back to myÂ quandary, I am thinking of this as almost a form of blog therapy and hopefully will make me a better, and tidier person.
We all have it….unless you are a porn star, playboy bunny or have alopecia totalis (and therefore actually desperate for a sprout of hair down there) , and I would put my neck on the line and say I am suspecting the percentage of FP readers in the porn industry is fairly slim.
But it is still seems such a taboo subject to talk about.
The issue I have is this: I like to look neat ‘down there’. The advantages are endless and quite frankly we don’t live in the 1960′s and therefore I don’t expect to see to see a whole eco-system down there when i am getting it on with somebody, and certainly don’t want a family of forest mice living down mine.
However, every time I try to do a little bit of manscaping the end result is as if I have been sexually assaulted by Edward Scissorhands. I take my underwear off in the gym and there is an audible gasp, not because of theÂ sheerÂ majestyÂ of my manhood, but because it looks like I have taken to trimming like a murderer hacking through a cornfield trying to find a victim.
They just dont teach you at school and when your Dad teaches you as a pubescent teenager how to shave the fluff off your chin it is not really cool to whip your kecks off and ask what the hell to do with ‘that‘.
So my issue is this – Shall I book myself in for aÂ back, sack and crack wax?
Point one, I don’t have a hairy back. So that is now limited to a sack and crack wax. Point two – I am absolutely terrified it is going to hurt and rip all the skin of my rather delicate and beautifully formed scrotum. Point three – IÂ don’tÂ want a stranger staring at my butt and layering it with dripping wax ready to turn me into a rectal thanksgiving turkey!
I guess I answered my own question and shouldn’t have one. But part of me thinks I should just ‘man-up’ a little bit and close my eyes and grit my teeth.
If I do have one I will most certainly re-live it as a blog post, but I feel I need to put it out there and see if you guys have any advice. Has anyone had it done? Is your scrotum still picture perfect? Do your butt cheeks squeak as you walk?
HELP!Â Â I don’t want any more Edward Scissorhands hand jobs, my penis is ashamed of its surroundings!