Despite the fact I am often quite vocal about many things and tend to voice my opinion without anyone asking for it, caring much about it, and tending not to want to hear it, this subject today is something I am a little nervous to discuss – but I feel I need to get it off my chest.
Before I do, I would advise my Mum and Aunty Maggie to stop reading now – (I welcome Aunty Maggie as a Friday Puppy reader after her confession this weekend that when she is bored at home she logs on to see what is going on).
Back to my quandary, I am thinking of this as almost a form of blog therapy and hopefully will make me a better, and tidier person.
Pubic hair.
We all have it….unless you are a porn star, playboy bunny or have alopecia totalis (and therefore actually desperate for a sprout of hair down there) , and I would put my neck on the line and say I am suspecting the percentage of FP readers in the porn industry is fairly slim.
But it is still seems such a taboo subject to talk about.
The issue I have is this: I like to look neat ‘down there’. The advantages are endless and quite frankly we don’t live in the 1960′s and therefore I don’t expect to see to see a whole eco-system down there when i am getting it on with somebody, and certainly don’t want a family of forest mice living down mine.
However, every time I try to do a little bit of manscaping the end result is as if I have been sexually assaulted by Edward Scissorhands. I take my underwear off in the gym and there is an audible gasp, not because of the sheer majesty of my manhood, but because it looks like I have taken to trimming like a murderer hacking through a cornfield trying to find a victim.
They just dont teach you at school and when your Dad teaches you as a pubescent teenager how to shave the fluff off your chin it is not really cool to whip your kecks off and ask what the hell to do with ‘that‘.
So my issue is this – Shall I book myself in for a back, sack and crack wax?
Point one, I don’t have a hairy back. So that is now limited to a sack and crack wax. Point two – I am absolutely terrified it is going to hurt and rip all the skin of my rather delicate and beautifully formed scrotum. Point three – I don’t want a stranger staring at my butt and layering it with dripping wax ready to turn me into a rectal thanksgiving turkey!
I guess I answered my own question and shouldn’t have one. But part of me thinks I should just ‘man-up’ a little bit and close my eyes and grit my teeth.
If I do have one I will most certainly re-live it as a blog post, but I feel I need to put it out there and see if you guys have any advice. Has anyone had it done? Is your scrotum still picture perfect? Do your butt cheeks squeak as you walk?
HELP!  I don’t want any more Edward Scissorhands hand jobs, my penis is ashamed of its surroundings!
JT
Feb 8, 2012 at 9:14 am
Thanks for the morning chuckle. As for your debacle…I shudder thinking of the butt thing…
KT
Feb 8, 2012 at 10:45 am
my advice: get liquored up prior to this adventure. it helps.
Jeff
Feb 8, 2012 at 11:11 am
Try nadsâ„¢. Let us know how it works out.
Craig
Feb 8, 2012 at 11:16 am
Is that name for real? Over here it is a slang word for testicles.
J
Feb 8, 2012 at 12:55 pm
have a friend help you out. they can get a better perspective on it than you can looking in the mirror. I had a friend help with mine and was quite pleased with the results
Craig
Feb 8, 2012 at 1:06 pm
Not sure I am quite ready for a friend to be staring at my butt whilst it is being preened!
Jeff
Feb 8, 2012 at 4:16 pm
Yes it’s called Nads, and yes we have the same term in America. It’s like Nair, but for delicates.
Dana
Feb 8, 2012 at 5:31 pm
Just do it! The first time can be a shocker, but it gets easier each time. Your other option is to buy some hair clippers (like the ones your barber uses). If you use the guard, it’s a very safe bet. Anyway, let me know if you want me to set you up with my Russian lady in NYC. We’d have to get Matt to film it for the blog. Just your face, though. We don’t want to accidentally make you into a porn star :)
CC
Feb 8, 2012 at 10:24 pm
Beard trimmers work fine. Can’t imagine the pain of a sack wax…OUCH.
NotSoNice
Feb 8, 2012 at 11:52 pm
I suggest getting beard trimmer. Mini hair clippers but meant for the coarse hair. My husband no longer has a pair since I stole them for pruning what would otherwise be my Amazon forest.
Wax will hurt!
J
Feb 9, 2012 at 10:50 am
I’d like before and after pics.
Kevin
Feb 9, 2012 at 3:27 pm
Beard or hair trimmer with guard–use the lowest setting (Wahl?–is a light gray for 1/16th or red (1/8)…used it for years NAD a trouble with it either :)
meierrain
Feb 10, 2012 at 12:19 pm
I’m feeling a bit woozy from the thought of using scissors!! Male or female, use a beard trimmer. You can also follow up the beard trimming with a foil shaver if you want to go smooth. Use baby powder like it’s shaving cream.
BigL
Feb 12, 2012 at 12:44 pm
Careful using electric clippers! I cut my sack with one and believe me it is not a pleasant experience…I guess you need to flatten it out so you don’t cut it but doing that while holding the clipper is not an easy task unless you have 3 hands
Lindsay
Feb 12, 2012 at 8:30 pm
As someone who has given a wax of that kind to a man, I would advise against it. It looks so amazingly painful that I decided that I’d never do that to someone again.
Side note: If you do decide to go through with it, I totally agree with Dana.