In an election year, things can get sticky, and Iâ€™m not just talking about Santorum. The Economy, The Middle East, Wall Street, what will happen to Tina Feyâ€™s Q Rating if Sarah Palin isnâ€™t runningâ€¦ The list goes on and on. One thing America will forever remain divided on though, regardless of who sits in The White House, regardless of The War on Terror, regardless of whether or not me and the Hot Canadian can get married (come on already DOMA! Really?!?), is a little thing I like to call Gwyneth Paltrow.
Gwyneth Paltrow divides a conversation like Moses through a street puddle. Iâ€™m here to settle the debate folks, sheâ€™s fucking perfect. Yes, her website is woefully out of touch with the 99%, she pissed of the Plath daughter royally, and lets face it, Coldplay kind of sucks now. But lets get down to brass tacks: She looks good, she has impeccable taste and every girl, whether she admits it or not, would give anything to be Margot Tannenbaum, if not just for a day.
So, herein lies the issue. Gwyneth Paltrow did an ad campaign for Coach. Now, I donâ€™t want to talk smack about Coach, I am sure 103% of the women who read this blog, and a solid amount of dudes, have something Coach in their hand right now. (Thatâ€™s not whatâ€™s in my hand right now, but Iâ€™m sitting at my laptop, Zing!) However, over the last 15 years Coach has managed to bastardize what used to be a seriously great American brand and turn it into a cheap fabric charm factory ruining the world with wristlets. (Ladies, that thing on your wrist? Its fucking up your slutty bar outfit, see my previous post about buying a fucking clutch, and if you need a special pouch to carry your digital camera to a bar, then let me tell you that you and your kind single-handedly ruined Facebook).
I love Coach, my mom has some old great leather Coach bags made in America, and I see a lot of crazy stylish local gals wearing these late 80â€™s/early 90â€™s relics now and they look so chic. And while I can appreciate the appeal of the new wave of painted and logoed bags, I sort of see where Reed Krakoff keeps trying to polish the proverbial turd. And now, G-Dawd is hawking them, and not even with the gonads to do it in her homeland. Needless to say, Iâ€™m conflicted. According to press, â€˜Gwyneth is shown posing with the Willis and Madison Lindsey bags â€“ two of her personal favouritesâ€. Really? You think she dropped the chance to throw down some Balenciaga or shove a Birkin in the crook of her elbow and instead grabbed a bag off the shelf of any mom in Clifton Park? Umâ€¦.
Iâ€™m pretty sure she did it for the paycheck, its not like Bey and Hova were registered at Babysâ€™Râ€™Us.