A martini is a terrible thing to waste.

Vacation Diary: Thursday, 2 December 2010


Dec 2, 2010 25 Comments

Thursday, 2 December 2010

7:30pm Nap, check. Jumping in the shower then heading to the Interview Magazine Party at the Delano Hotel.

3:40 Jjust landed in Miami. The guy sitting next to me on the flight wants to kill me because I fidget so much. And the flight attendant truly dislikes me bc I didn’t turn off my electronic device as told…twice. Smell ya later, Continental!

11:30am Good news.  The airport has vodka.  And wi-fi.   I know it sounds terrible and irresponsible because my blog is the 2nd most read blog in the country with 3rd graders, but I don’t know if there’s a better combination in the world than xanax and a martini.  I want to hug everyone in this airport.  My cocktail waitress and I are now besties, and  I might invite her to come with me on this trip after one more martini.

9:00am Just waking up.  Trying to do some last minute packing.   (I’m resisting packing a tank top.  Sadly, I think those days are gone.   Where  the eff is my Ed Hardy speedo!?!?!) Starting to feel anxious about my flight.  I am praying that the airport isn’t out of vodka.


  • bugman
    Dec 2, 2010 at 9:39 am

    scan or search?

  • Hopeful
    Dec 2, 2010 at 11:16 am

    I think you left your speedo under my bed….oh, if only……

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  • Jeff
    Dec 2, 2010 at 12:23 pm

    Does your PCP read this blog? So controversial!!!!!!!!1111

  • Kait
    Dec 2, 2010 at 12:50 pm

    This is why I love you. And talk about you to my friends like we actual friends instead of being a devote reader of your blog.

  • Katie
    Dec 2, 2010 at 3:21 pm

    that photo has so many wonderful things in it!!! alcohol, friday puppy, xanax….what could be better!!!

  • the Original Colleen
    Dec 2, 2010 at 3:25 pm

    @Hopeful – ha, you make me laugh! I remember when I bought it for him, we were trying to decide between the Ed Hardy and the High Tide Boardshorts, definately Ed Hardy! But after all that changing into and out of, he decided on the Ed Hardy; ok, if you’re sure, what were we talking about?


  • eric the midget
    Dec 2, 2010 at 5:38 pm

    dude, we know you love xanax and martinis,it’s really getting old. aren’t you like 40,time to move on to the next stage.

  • Matt
    Dec 2, 2010 at 7:24 pm

    Eric the midget… not gonna happen, lil guy. And plus, that’s like telling Steve Barnes to stop writing about food.

  • Melissa
    Dec 2, 2010 at 7:30 pm

    And of course your MacBook Pro! You have excellent taste Matt. ;)

  • Nicky
    Dec 2, 2010 at 7:58 pm

    What is better than vodka and xanax in the airport? It’s necessary for a comfortable flight!

  • Julia
    Dec 2, 2010 at 8:18 pm

    It’s funny to see the same pills I have..They used to be round but now they’re oval..sitting here sipping a glass of wine as we speak..Enjoy Matt!

  • eric the midget
    Dec 3, 2010 at 5:39 am

    ack ack.i like your friday puppy,it helps me realize that you don’t have to be club footed and wheelchairbound to have such anxiety that you have to be medicated.you found a way to make money from it.you have taken your weakness for pills and booze and made it work for you. i’d tip my hat to you if i could.ack ack

  • D-Dub
    Dec 3, 2010 at 10:16 am

    @ E.T.M….What’s “the next stage?” Geritol and Hot Toddy’s?

  • Debbie
    Dec 3, 2010 at 10:22 am

    Eric the midget is a douche.

  • Sudz
    Dec 3, 2010 at 10:23 am

    You are never too old for vodka and xanax.

  • maggie
    Dec 3, 2010 at 11:06 am

    “Interview Magazine Party”? I want your life.

  • creed
    Dec 3, 2010 at 11:31 am

    You are friggin hilarious! I agree with the xanax-martini combo. Totally.
    I live in South Florida (Jupiter…….north of Miami) and it’s going to be COLD this weekend. Enjoy, anyway. You make me laugh daily.
    (“smell ya later” Hilarious)

  • D-Dub
    Dec 3, 2010 at 11:55 am

    Eric the ACTOR!!!! ack. ack

  • eric the midget
    Dec 3, 2010 at 6:49 pm

    the next stage is dealing with your miserable life medication free,its the pussification of america.Nowadays, to fit in, you must have some mommy issue that you need a prescription to make you feel better about your lame self .suck it up ,how would you like to be club fucking footed you asswipes. ack ack ,

  • Sudz
    Dec 4, 2010 at 9:19 am

    I’d rather be club footed than a miserable mean spirited person like you ETM.
    Here you go, I’m tossing you the crying towel…….. get over yourself.

  • Cloudmystic
    Dec 5, 2010 at 2:44 pm

    Even if you were prescribed the anxiety medication, it should be used carefully. It’s never wise to mix it with alcohol. Having said that, enjoy the vacation in the sun and have a few drinks. Try to board the return flight without the meds and see how it goes.

  • Cloudmystic
    Dec 5, 2010 at 2:50 pm

    BTW, I’m not a drinker but is a martini usually served with THREE olives as shown in the pic? Perhaps there is some redemptive nutritional value in the practice after all.

  • eric the midget
    Dec 6, 2010 at 5:58 am

    okay im sorry ,i have an appt today to get myself a prescription so i can hide my feelings , then off to the bar for a dirty martini, like you sheep.anxiety,high an xi ety. bye for now ack ack

  • the Original Colleen
    Dec 6, 2010 at 9:45 am

    I’m sorry, I’ve stayed silent long enough. People, does the picture not look staged? Geez, just because it is on the web doesn’t mean it is the truth. If you knew Matt you’d know you’ve been hit with another Mattism….ok, I’ll be silent again, if only; right G?

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