Yesterday, someone stole my Weber Genesis grill right out of my back yard.
Every time someone steals something from my house, I kick myself for not building that moat. Â I mean, who would have the balls to steal someone’s grill?! Â A grill feels like such a personal item. Â It would be like someone stealing my toothbrush. Â (For the record, you can steal my floss. Â I never use that stuff. Â How can anything that makes your gums bleed that much be good for you?)
You can also take my coffee maker, my Advil PM (that stuff is the devil’s work), my Soloflex, my skinny jeans (don’t have the legs for them), and while you’r’e at it, you can take my Dexter: Â Season 1 and 2 DVD set. Â I can not get into that show. Â I think there’s some straight porn near the Dexter DVDs. Â Take those, too. Â Gross.
Although, my Aunt Pam says that a problem is not a problem if it can be solved with money. Â Not that she’s a Rockefeller or anything, but rather, there are real problems in life, like sickness or death, that can’t be fixed with a bank check. Â So when I hear that my grill was stolen, yes it sucks, but I’ll find another one on sale. Â At least I have my health, my family and my friends.
…and a beautiful, pair of size 10 1/2 Gucci leather shoes that I planned on wearing with the aforementioned skinny jeans… if anyone wants them.